A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife: Dear Wife, You must realize that you are 54-years-old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. Your Husband When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him from his wife: Dear Husband, You too are 54-years-old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, my love... don't wait up. Your Wife

Rodney sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Give me the bad news first," said Rodney. "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars," said the solicitor. "That's the bad news?" asked Rodney incredulously. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news." "It's of you and your mistress," replied the solicitor.

These two jokes were sent in by Jack Nicholson. If you've got a rib tickler you want to share with us, and if it isn't too blue, politically incorrect, or a refugee from the Des O'Connor joke book, send it to info@pubworld.co.uk

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